What’s wild about this—I’ve always told myself, “I’m terrible at making decisions” because of the overload and time it takes. We get into shaming when our process doesn’t fit the norm.
In reality, I’ve made incredible decisions over the course of my life. It just takes me longer, I research, move at a slower pace, and think through and process things. I’m intentional. Deliberate. Focused. But once I’ve made that decision, I’m ferociously protective of it and extremely determined to follow through.
I’ve come to see it’s more of the pressure, expectation, and time constraints that make it hard rather than my process. When I am regulated, and it’s a decision I want to make, I enjoy it. It’s the initial dysregulation/overload combined with other people’s expectations and time constraints that I don’t enjoy. But then of course, if it’s a decision I don’t want to make, it’s not worth all the effort it takes, and I’m happy to offload it.
Thank you for this validating read. I just booked plane tickets last week and it was exactly the way you described. It took so long to make a decision, and it didn’t help that options and prices changed daily! I didn’t realize until afterward how much capacity and energy it took for me to make the final decision. There wasn’t much headspace left for other things and also I couldn’t really rush the timeline - and that’s okay. I will say, I found ChatGPT helped me here with clarifying what my own parameters were and what different aspects I wanted to take into account.
Gosh, this spoke to me.
What’s wild about this—I’ve always told myself, “I’m terrible at making decisions” because of the overload and time it takes. We get into shaming when our process doesn’t fit the norm.
In reality, I’ve made incredible decisions over the course of my life. It just takes me longer, I research, move at a slower pace, and think through and process things. I’m intentional. Deliberate. Focused. But once I’ve made that decision, I’m ferociously protective of it and extremely determined to follow through.
I’ve come to see it’s more of the pressure, expectation, and time constraints that make it hard rather than my process. When I am regulated, and it’s a decision I want to make, I enjoy it. It’s the initial dysregulation/overload combined with other people’s expectations and time constraints that I don’t enjoy. But then of course, if it’s a decision I don’t want to make, it’s not worth all the effort it takes, and I’m happy to offload it.
Thank you for this validating read. I just booked plane tickets last week and it was exactly the way you described. It took so long to make a decision, and it didn’t help that options and prices changed daily! I didn’t realize until afterward how much capacity and energy it took for me to make the final decision. There wasn’t much headspace left for other things and also I couldn’t really rush the timeline - and that’s okay. I will say, I found ChatGPT helped me here with clarifying what my own parameters were and what different aspects I wanted to take into account.
Oh, so very true, and thanks for it. Years ago, my then-husband called it "Feeling like a cat with 27 kinds of cat food." And I totally agreed!